Friday, October 24, 2008

yep i'm back again.

finally decided, on a free thursday night, to update.

small stuff first.

training has been good, heh. i'm still not as good as some of the players but i feel i'm improving.

we did a layout drill on wed. damn my hands still has scratches from that.

thinking of buying Skins sleeves. you can view them here

http://www.skins.net/au/en/Products/BioAcceleration_Technology/sport/powersleeves

well i've been eyeing some form of sleeves, whether cloth or of these kinda material, for quite awhile but i haven't been able to find out where to buy them. so i'm quite decided on buying these, but as usual, being me, i'll make sure its worth it before doing it. 56bucks for 2 damn sleeves. geez. will be useful for sure though.

aaaaaaaand.. erm.. yeah, having trial camp this wkend. camp diamond. don't know how fun it'll be but.. well just go lor. hahaha. being the Su event it is, guess i'll go.

i have loads of stories to rant about here. but i'll just talk about my Uncle today.

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it was.. last tuesday. i woke up to the sound of my phone, the usual thing everyday, except that.. it was 7am.

i was like, 'wait, why did gran call so early?'

well i'll shamelessly say here that my gran calls me every morn to wake me up. so usually she's supposed to call at around 720.

so i picked up the phone groggily, and the first thing i hear is, roughly translated from hokkien 'boy ah. ask your mum to the phone. ah gu diam ke liao(literally means gone quiet)'

as my still nearly cold brain struggled to grasp the exact meaning of that message, i stumbled out of my bed, and went downstairs where my mum was reading papers. she gave me a curious look, and i relayed to her whatever i heard.

i sat there, stoning on the ground for quite awhile as my mum was engaged in a tense conversation with my gran. a multitude of expressions showed on her face over that 20min period i sat there. eventually, deciding that i'll be late if i sit and wait anymore, i went up to shower.

once i was more awake after that shower, i headed down and prepped to leave, though i was gonna be slightly late already. mum confirmed the bad news for me.

my uncle passed away in the morning.

well i didn't feel really sad or anything, not that i was particularly close to him or what. but still, it was kinda sudden. we did know he had throat cancer for awhile, but i though the chemotherapy he was going through was holding him up still. until the news that is.

well that wasn't the only thing that bothered me on tue, but i'll skip that part.

i didnt go training that evening, because i had to get back home to help mum look after my bro while she settled the funeral stuff.

the following day went as normal, except that i left FYP earlier, was feeling kinda vexed anyway. so i got official leave, and left at 4 to go home. went to the funeral after. i guess the shock feeling was kinda delayed, because it was quite awhile before the sadness set in. a year before i was attending my grandfather's funeral, now? my uncle's. i fervently pray that nothing bad happens next year.

missed school on thursday. spent the entire day settling the funeral stuff. it was saddening to see my family members cry again. my uncle didnt do much, you could even call him a bum, but he didnt deserve this. noone does. but still, smoking and drinking everyday, can't really make you live long eh.

once again i'm forced to contemplate on life. 40 odd years of his life and all he left was bad memories of him, in a way. would i wanna go off in this way? i know i won't. though my poly life is coming to an end.. i hope its not too late to set things right. at that moment i had a certain urge to do some things immediately, say things that i never would've, tell people things that i want to. but.. as time passed. the urge went away. i hope i don't regret this.

anyway. this is history now. may he rest in peace.

i'll rant about something else another day. its 122am now. and its time to sleep. nights people.

i rather you went back.
i rather you didnt.
i rather you would've.
i rather i.. didnt..
ending those sentences would be too obvious a meaning.

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