Monday, November 10, 2008

hmmm. short post before i sleep. best get this entry moving while i have momentum. heh.

goodness my phone bill is gonna blow, clocked up 100smses within these 3 days. heh.

shall just do a small rant about.. stuff that happened recently.

i was upstairs in my bedroom when i found my old diary that i wrote in sec4.

quite funny, some of the entries. brings back old memories. and hurt.

i realised that i'm actually quite jealous, esp when it comes to the person i love, despite my vehement protests, i have to admit that its the truth.
its funny how i felt that way since i was younger, but never really admitted it, but i see the signs now, and i have to admit that its true. haha.

i flipped past the pages, entries over 2mnths, before it suddenly stopped the day i received my Olvls timetable. and a sadness came over me as i stared at the empty pages. why didn't i bother to write them, i thought.

i flipped to the first page. and a paragraph was written there. proudly proclaiming that i would get 6pts for the 2005 olvls. and i felt a slight tinge of sadness. where would i be now had i upheld that promise.

the blatant lack of discipline has been the highlight of my life so far. i hope it changes. because i think i've found the solution.

i've decided to continue my diary. it does bring back some good old memories. even if it isnt all good.

sometimes i wonder does going into a relationship make someone more responsible.
maybe when you have someone you care for you get more sensible and do things properly, with seriousness.
maybe it makes you spring to work, rather than drag your feet, when you know that you have to earn that money, and it'll bring about some smiles at a lunch/dinner date in the not so far off future.
maybe when you're early, you get the priviledge of seeing her rush towards you, flustered, muttering sorry, and you'll just smile warmly, telling her its alright, no worries.
maybe during that birthday party of hers. you can plan for her something special, knowing she'll remember it for life.

there are so many maybes. yet at this age of 19 i know naught of these. oh well.

sometimes i look back at my life and wonder if it has been all wasted. it could've been alot. but my lack of discipline has always cost me much. its about time to wake up.

hahah, oh dear. this post turned emo. but then again, thats what i have this blog for aint it.

turning in already. hmmm last 2weeks of FYP. gonna miss the slacking. time to start working! (:

ciaos people. update again soon.

i feel all paedophilic now. HEH (:
could this be the start of something good?
or will it just end like it has always been.
dear dear me. i need to touch up on my english, don't you think? (:
hey there stranger.

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