Wednesday, November 5, 2008

well its quiet around the FYP lab, so i decided to blog. heh.

training yesterday was extremely disappointing, 10fingers and 10toes isn't enough to count the number of mistakes i made.

left school feeling extremly dejected. i wonder how am i ever gonna be a good player. how i wish i have a gf who would encourage me in times like these. friends? they all have their own things to do eh.

i'm stubborn and always insist that not having a gf won't kill me, but at times like those your perception changes drastically.

anyway, the Beep test on tue took its toll on my thighs, and i went training feeling extremely sore. not to mention lacking in breath, i wonder why. my stamina has gotten better, but i have no idea how to make my sprinting stamina better.

so after training last night, went home feeling shitty. dog is always there to cheer me up anyway (:

slept at 230am, i think i've achieved a certain level of not needing sleep, i'm sleeping 5hrs a day now.

came to school feeling EXTREMELY sore. really. and to top it all off, i decided to be a hero.

i went to donate blood.

well on hindsight, it wasn't that bad, other than the fact i decided that my body could take it, and took only 1 muesli bar for breakfast, with water.

bad bad bad idea..

fengting, who was going with me to donate blood. had chicken cutlet with extra side dish, and hotmilo with extra sugar, from koufu. lol.

and i was the one laughing at her, telling her it was overkill to eat so much. who knew.

it only began after the nurse took out the needle, and told me to apply pressure on the.. hole? lol, i dunno how to describe it.

thats when i realised my right arm(they took blood from my left arm) was getting really sore, for some reason. and after awhile my arms were shaking slightly. thats when i thought 'shit, something is wrong'

the nurse bandaged my arm, and i asked if i could rest. she told me to rest on the chair in the corner. but, since fengting was already waiting for me at the 'snacking corner', i decided to rest when i get there, since i was feeling fine.

then i stood up, and started walking. when i was halfway there however, my head started feeling very light. and my motions were getting sluggish. i reached the 'snacking corner' just in time, sat down, and tried my darndest to keep awake. i wasn't interested in discovering how it felt to faint. after much effort, and a timely apple/grape juice from the helpers, my hearing stopped worsening. there was this high pitched 'eeeeeeeeeeee' sound in my head, and i knew that anytime now i would be lying on the ground. but thankfully i took the grape juice in time, and after a few biscuits, i started to feel much better. so much for not taking breakfast in the morning. fengting said i looked very pale, guess i would've been interested in seeing how i looked at that time. lol

so, after 2 bananas, 2 packs of biscuits, and 1 packet of grape juice, we left the place, with me feeling much better. i dread to think what my mum would've said had i fainted, so she ain't gonna hear nuts about this. but no more heroics next time.

went for a tour of half the school after that, handing out forms to the frisbee peeps for CampDiamond.

prolly getting my skins sleeves soon. as much as think as a player i don't deserve it. but lets not go into that again, lest it spoils my mood for the day. i'm determined to get better, i refuse to accept the fact that there is something i cannot learn. the day i cannot learn anything is the day i'm not a Peh i tell you.

going shopping later, go buy some spanking new clothes for StMike's charity dinner at mandarin tomorrow. could go clubbing after that but on second thought, nevermind.

happy birthday, albeit belated at this point of time, to jane! haha. may all her wishes come true.

alright, guess the only thing to look forward to is guys outing this weekend.

saw alot of people at mac, including charmaine, she was showing off her new lashes. lol. with a multicolored hue to it. geez.

more importantly i saw SOMEONE who isnt supposed to be there having lunch with them. no prizes for guessing who. don't worry, me and bernard will take.. 'special' care of your matter. heh. we won't do much, don't worry. maybe haunt your for the rest of your life only. LOL.

feeling lethargic now. and its coming 4pm, gotta go do my work, still have miss choo's report to edit.

ciaos people (:

i'm used to accepting failures, understanding them, forgiving them, encouraging them.
but i'm not used to being nice to myself.
i expect the most from myself.
reserve the harshest criticism for myself.
maybe stopping at the point of torturing myself of course.
maybe thats why i need someone to encourage me.

because if the doctor heals the patients, who heals the doctor?

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